it can really suck.

Oh happy day!

The big boys are out of town deep in the woods and I’ve got Oreck on my mind. I have wanted an Oreck vacuum for 15 years. Maybe even longer….like since forever. Not sure when or how but the charms of this vacuum had me sold from what must have been a foundational developmental age. Maybe around the time when I ran around the house in wonder-woman wares. For some reason those two things are related in my head—maybe it’s the sense of power held within each, and the lightweight function of both. Children are so impressionable.

And it is time for some good ole-fashioned, high-design cleaning.

Ya think???

After we—as in me—get through the maddening process of picking up thing after thing I see the end in sight, and can’t wait to give this carpet a good once-over with my new glorious piece of machinery.

Being the kind mommy that I am I let Mr. C give it a whirl first. So he happily goes rerererererer, scurrying along with the slight pull of this horse-powered, self-propelled baby. (Exciting isn’t it!!)

I hear the satisfying sound of little things getting sucked up and away.


And then the event had a downward bend to it.

Oh my.

An annoying, yes dare I say—sucky incident.

Mr. C’s fault? No. So I contain these sucky sounds of “AHHHH” and “GRRRRR” within my melon-sized head.

Seriously, the stripe on my debit card is still warm. I have yet to give it a test drive. Dang it bleep bleepin’ dang it!!!

I take a deep breath. (Always wise.) Putting my shoulders back basically I suck it up. I pick up the phone to check in with my new friends down at the local Oreck shop.

“Hi there, remember me? I just left 20 minutes ago… Emily the housewife* who just had to have the gold colored vacuum?? Since you didn’t have aqua??? Yeah. Well, errr…. not sure what the warranty covers. Likely this doesn’t fall under that. You see, the cord ate itself after getting shoved under an innocent, green, retro chair. It was left to nibble for a good 30 seconds by a  toddler who was using it at the time. Yes. The one who was accompanying me at the shop, you remember? Yea…I know, it is suprising. Yes, that sweet, innocent, blond boy. Yes, he does like to help out with chores. It is really, really sweet. Super sweet. So…what are we looking at here???”

Whew. The good news for any and all concerned here is that the tear isn’t down to the copper so I can just slab on some electrical tape. And even this “full cord replacement” the worker brought up a few times is only $30.00 if ever needed.

Let it go down in the record book of the housewive’s drama for sure. A doozie, a close one….

Or let me just say it did sort of suck. At least it did for a little bit anyways.

A housewives confession of how much she paid for her vacuum. Beyond the standard version,  she paid $100 extra for the Oreck Professional Series Gold Vacuum. It has some fancy things going for it—some magical belt system that never needs replacement and it tips back and rolls from room to room, has 2 speeds, an award winning comfort fit handle….but really, it’s an adorable shade of gold.

* that H word—it’s an inside joke with the worker. Or could be just with me. Anyways—in our getting acquainted over the vacuum sale, I give him the lowdown that I had actually asked my husband for permission to purchase a new vacuum. Exactly like a 1950s housewife would. I straight out asked. It came out that way and I just went with it—especially after hearing my husband reply with, “K.” I’m comfortable enough with my womanhood to just go with things like that.



This entry was posted in cleaning, frustrating, funny, homespun, HOUSEHOLD ISSUES, INS, kid story, marriage, mr. k, Product, the ordinary and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>