the wind blows.

It’s windy outside. And I have been feeling some of the blows.

> Pow

> Punch

> Hard truth

> Hard questions

> Hard answers

Looking up and around I wonder what to grab at first, or what things just to let fall where they may. Do I step in and help soften the landing? Even then, I can’t always get there in time. Then I am like a leaf blowing about feeling fear one second, to sadness, to a glimmer of hope, to confusion, while trying to find a landing place. Or hiding place.

What to be present to, where to put the energy I have today and geesh, what about tomorrow?

A friend while sharing about her life read some good and true and hard words aloud. It stuck with me.

So there is a season to all things. No clarification as to how long these spans of time take – nor I suppose it should. Shucks. Maybe that would not be wise to find out – even if I could. But, what if I cycle through several of these both/ands within a very short timeframe? Speaking up one moment to knowing shutting up is wiser the next. Holding on, to letting go, to holding on, to letting go. Embracing to parting. Crying to laughing.

Where am I going with all of this? That’s part of the problem. I DON”T KNOW. There are some unknowns.

Likely there are some unknowns with your life too? Very likely.

I am going to seek out knowing what I can know for today and embrace whatever “time” that I am in to the best of my capability. Even if that is just a moment. I would rather be in whatever moment I am, even if it’s confusion or fear, versus not, otherwise: where the heck am I? (Now I am freaking myself out…)

I am also going to take some big breaks and be as kind to myself as I possibly can.

As for the tomorrows that are coming?

How about this posture? At least moments of it. I can hope. We can hope, right? The landscape is going to change with this next season. And there is some beauty in what is soon (sooner than later) to be falling.

And we are loved. (How dare she??) That’s an odd crazy thing to say – but worse things have been blogged about. And at least this one is true.


snowfall photo, niece maggie taking in the first colorado snowfall of the year: by beth johnson

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  1. By HAPPY HOUR on October 23, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    [...] and ins | emily sunday: break | suck, suck, suck—huh??? in and out | the nana-papa shuffle. the wind blows | and not always gently. This entry was posted in Friday Happy Hour and tagged Emily, Heather, [...]

  2. By GONE WITH THE WIND on October 26, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    [...] it’s one of those days when life blows in uninvited and just won’t let [...]

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